Our presence is more important than our presents

It is a common thing that kids love presents 🙂 They will be very happy every time they receive a present from others. Every time, when my eldest son’s friends celebrate their birthday, he will be very happy to bring and give the presents to his friends, but he will ask me, “where is my present ?”

I know that he cannot wait until his birthday (which is few months ahead) to get his birthday present. But today, he told me that he wants to celebrate his birthday in the school with his friends and teacher, same as what we did when he was in the pre-nursery class last year. He said that he wants to give presents to all his classmates (goodies bags) but he didn’t mention about the present for him self. He said ” later, papa, mama, and TT come to my class and we take picture like last year when JJ was younger” His words really make my heart melted 🙂 He wants our presence not the present.

We always attending to almost all his school activities which involve parents and students. But there was one day we really didn’t know that JJ will have performance in his school. When I picked him up from his school bus, he asked me, “Mama, why you didn’t come and watch me sing a song? Almost all of my friends have their papa mama there”. I was surprised, and i said sorry to him. And he laughed and said “It’s ok, mama.” I was so sad, I didn’t know that he will have performance that day.

On the parent – teacher meeting, his teacher also asked me why I didn’t come that day. And I explained to her that I didn’t know. His teacher said that she tried to call me two time before the performance day and wanted to ask me to come because on the preparation of the performance, JJ sang and danced very well. His pre-nursery teacher also asked his nursery teacher to called me to make sure I will come and not to miss this performance. That was the first time we missed his performance.

Though he was not angry and told me that it was ok, but I believe that he was sad. We also regret that we missed that performance.

From my experience, for us, our presence is more important than our presents. He didn’t expect anything other that our presence on his performance. But I am glad that his teacher said that he did very well on the performance and indeed he is a happy boy.

This is a lesson to learn for us that we should pay more attention to our kids, giving them presents will make them happy, but they would be more than happy if they get our presence 🙂

Time will never come back

Time is running very fast, don’t you feel it?  July is almost finish, another 5 months then there will be 2012. January 2012 my younger son will also go to school together with his brother. There will be only me at home in the morning. Think that the house will be very quite and I will feel lonely.

We are getting old and our sons are growing. We will miss the moment when they were kids. The moment when they started to talk, started to walk will never come back. I am glad that my husband and I can see their growth everyday, from they were babies until now. From they only laid down on their baby crib, Feel like suddenly they can run here and there 😀 They only drank milk, now they eat what we eat. They only cried and smile, now they cry, smile, laugh, talk a lot and even give us so many questions.

TT starts to talk a lot with his special tone and likes to sing and dance now. This reminds us to JJ when he was at TT’s age. My husband told me, that time is running so fast, he longed the time when JJ started to talk too. He cannot really remember how JJ talked that time. How JJ called Papa and Mama on the first time. I still can remember though I don’t remember all, it might because I stay at home with him and take care of him everyday. Of course we also have some videos of JJ and TT when they were younger than now, but still, the video is limited and can not capture all the moment.

Life is go on, time moves forward and will never move backward. we really have to treasure every minutes that we have with our kids, cause that time will never come back.

Effort vs Result

My husband always tell me that the most important is the effort not the result. He applies it not only to my kids but also to me. Honestly, sometime I forget and want the best result in everything. But, again and again, I am reminded by what my husband said.

I have to always remember that I should not require the best result from my sons, but I should see from another point of view, it is their efforts.

I talked to one of my friend, I can say that she is my senior 🙂 She has three children. Her first and second daughter are in High School and last level of Primary School. The youngest one is JJ’s friend. She told me that she never demand the best result from her second daughter though her second daughter is a smart girl. But she will see whether her second daughter study hard or not for her exam. If she saw her daughter has already studied hard and the result was not that good, she will not complain because she appreciated her effort. She knows that he daughter has tried her best regardless of the result. But if she saw her daughter didn’t study well during her exam and the result is not good, she will ask her why she didn’t study well. She told me that she appreciates her children’s efforts, result is the second thing.

As a mom, I am really open and want to learn from other mummies. Sometime I might forget and start to expect the best result from my sons. I learn and I always have to remember that my sons are still very young and they are learning.

Let me share about my own experience…

JJ and TT like to play bowling ball. When the ball didn’t hit the pins, I will ask them to try again and never give up! There was one time that TT hit all the pins (strike) and he was very happy and shouted “Yeee!!! I did it!”. JJ and I were also very happy for him we shouted Yeee.. and I said “Good Job, TT!” and clapped our hands for TT.

Next was JJ’s turn and he hit the pins but didn’t get the strike point. He said, ” Ma, JJ also wants ‘strike’ like TT.” I told him that the most important thing is that you have tried your best and you still can try again. When came to his turn again, he did it strike. JJ was very happy and for sure TT was also happy for his brother and they shouted and jumped together “Yeeee” and clapped their hands. I was also happy and said “See!!! You did it! Good Job, JJ!”

It is applied in other things such as, writing, singing, colouring, etc. Though it is not  a good result but I can see their efforts! They still really deserve to be praised that they have done a Good Job!

Always remember Efforts come first! Good result is a bonus but if it is not a good result, still, encourage them and praise them for their efforts.

Little Teacher for Little Brother

When we talk about teacher, what will come first in our mind?

It could be teacher in the school, tuition teacher, enrichment teacher, music teacher, sport teacher, Sunday school teacher, etc.

But I won’t talk about these kind of teachers. I am talking about our older son who can become a teacher for his younger brother. I think that most of younger children will follow what his older siblings do. So some of you who have more than one children might have same experience as mine.

I am very busy with the house works and don’t really have time to spend with the kids. I know that I need to learn more about Time Management 😀 I am more than happy if you are willing to share and give me some input about how to manage our time correctly.

I only managed to teach TT the alphabet letters from A-E. But suddenly I find that he can  read almost all the alphabet letters. Same thing also goes for colours and shapes. Suddenly he knows all the basic colours. He even can make a triangle using his fingers. He even started draw a fish before he was reach two years old.

JJ might not teach him in purpose but sometime I heard he said to his brother, ” Do you want me to help you?” or sometime ” Let me help you lah”

I remember when TT acknowledged all the alphabet letters as an A, JJ was the one who  will make a correction and told his brother ” No, TT. This is R not A, ok!”

Sometime I praise him for being a ”teacher” for his brother ” wow.. are you the one who teach TT doing this?” Good job JJ!” Then I can see that he is proud and satisfied.

I think it would be very important for us to teach our older son carefully because most of the time our younger son will follow his brother. Before meal time and bed time, we will always ask our sons to pray. I notice that TT will see what JJ does and he will follow. Now he also follow words by words of the prayer. Every day I will ask them to sit down and do some activities together for half an hour before they taking their afternoon nap. They will do some activities such as colouring and writing and sometime reading. There was one day that TT tried to write letter D on his book. He saw what his brother do and wanted to follow. The result was, he did it! He wrote letter D and B, though it is still a little bit mess 😀

It’s all worth for me, staying at home, giving up my job and taking care of my kids. Seeing them grow together is one of my happiness 🙂

Best Friends

Do you have friends? How many friends do you have?

Everyone should have friends but of course not all of your friends are your best friends.

One day, my husband told me if you have at least five best friends, it means you are very rich. I have my husband and my two sons as my best friends, I also have my parents, my two brothers and my two sister in laws as my best friends. Besides my family, I also have other best friends. It makes me very rich 🙂

But… Best friends are not only for teenagers and adults but also for kids 🙂

As for my sons, both of them are very rich too because they also have more than five best friends for sure 🙂

This June’s school holiday is too long for JJ and he really enjoyed playing with his brother during this school holiday. Moreover, he had one more week extra for his school holiday because we needed to attend my cousin’s wedding and also had a family gathering for a week.

“Mom, I don’t want to go to school, I want to stay at home and play with you and TT” JJ said. I told him that he needs to come back to school because the school holiday is over and all of his classmates is waiting for him. But he insisted that he wanted to stay at home.

When it came to the day that he had to go back to school he kept crying, in the school bus and also at school. But I was glad that I found him happy and cheerful as usual when he came back from school. At the same day, in the afternoon, his teacher called me and told me that in the first time he was crying in the school and wanted to go home. His teacher than told me that JJ calmed down because his best friends came to him and asked him to play together.

I  always have two best friends who always stay with me day and night everyday and they really make my day colourful. I am very glad to be with them everyday. It is a blessing. Even though they are quarrelling sometime, sometime they also make me angry but most of the time they make me laugh, smile and happy 🙂 At night there will be another best friend who will join us, he is my husband. Your family is your best friend too. Therefore, sometime I really miss my childhood. I am glad that I have never loss contact with my parents and my brothers though we are not living in the same country now. All thanks to God.

Sharing and Togetherness

“TT, do you want to share or not?” JJ asked his brother. “Yes.” Said TT.

Though it is not easy for both of them to share and give in sometime, but they have no choice, they have to learn. It is part of learning for them. Quarrel? Of course, sometime. They are kids 🙂

Some parents would prefer to buy same toys for their kids, they might do this to avoid quarrelling between their kids. I had the same thought before but then I change my mind. We prefer buy different toys for both of them and they will learn to share to each other, play together and they will have more toys then 🙂

They don’t always want to share, some time they want to have the same toy and they only have one. That will make them quarrel and we have to stop them. Fortunately, they won’t quarrel for a long time. They will start to share and take turn. We also teach them that when they want something from their brother, they will need to ask nicely and don’t forget to say thank you.

“Put here, TT.” JJ said. What do you think they were doing? They start to cleaned up and put back their balls to the bag before their afternoon nap. Sometime when JJ has finished his part, he will bring the bag to his brother and it will be easier for his brother to do his part.

One day, TT asked me to do something for him. I asked him to ask his brother to help him. It is not that I don’t want to help him, but I want them to learn to help each other. “Koko JJ, ini gimana?” (‘Brother JJ, how is this?”) , TT asked JJ. And JJ answered: “Like this…”

Learning is a process. They will learn to share and know about togetherness, so that they will help each other as well.

I want them not only become brothers, but also a team and best friend who will help each other 😉

Out of the Daily Routine

“Ma, tomorrow we will go with airplane, right?” this question came from JJ a week ago.

HOLIDAY!!! That’s right. We need holiday! JJ n TT need holiday (that’s what they’ve been mumbling recently, “Go, go, yuk“).

I need holiday, definitely. And I bet, YOU also need it! Not sure about my husband who is crazy about his new gadget, but I think he needs it as well (I know it 🙂 )

It is really a need for us to take a break and out of our daily routine. It’s not only good for my self but also good for my husband and my kids.

Though it was only one week but it is really meaningful and enjoyable. I don’t have to cook, my husband doesn’t have to go to the office, my older son doesn’t have to go to school and my younger son can go out and play at the new place and meet some new friends.

The most important thing is that we can focus to each other instead of focusing on our own activities.

Sometime people just focus on their daily activity and routine without realize that they have it enough and really need to go out from it. They have chance to release from stress of their job but they still choose to keep working and ignoring their chance to take a break.

When the air-plane is about to landed, JJ said “Singapore”. Now we are here, at Singapore again and have to come back to our daily routine, but I can see that all of us are satisfied with this holiday, my sons are also happy to be at home again and play together like usual and my husband come back to work in front of his notebook. Everything just come back to normal now, but I can see that our energy are replenished.

Finally here we are, come back from our holiday to our home sweet home.

But….. Can’t wait for the next holiday!