I was shock and sad when I read this news.
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/student-murders-mother-hides-body-apartment-055002274.html
Of course, everybody wants to have the smartest kid, the champion kid, the top kids. I have never heard that a parent says that she/he doesn’t want her/his children to be a clever one, to be a smart child, good in school etc. That’s all parents’ dreams, but is it really very important?
There was a survey in a city at one country by a TV channel, they interviewed some parents about their expectations of their children and one of the parent even said that “No room for failure”
We quite surprise when we heard that.
Why they have that kind of mind set?
- Perhaps they feel that it is for the interest of their children,
- Perhaps they are afraid if their kids fail, then their old age is not guaranteed, because they depend on their children.
- Perhaps they feel their kids failure means the failure of their own
(Those three points are my own opinions)
Is that right? If it is so, they might not realize that they could make their children stress by doing so.
I admit, I also want my sons to be the best, to be smart, to be the top students, but once again, I have to remind my self that it is not everything, it is not the most important thing for the kids.
We should learn to know the limit, we should not demand a very high expectation from our kids, especially in education (this is one of the common problem in parenting). Every kid is different, some of them are really smart kids, some of them are not.
Let’s see from another point of view, they might not be good in their school grade, but they might be good in another aspect.
I have one friend, he was not good in his school, perhaps he didn’t really like to study, but he had another ability, he loved to swim, and all thanks to his parents who supported his dream, he was a national swimmer. I think he is a coach now đ
One of my friend was not very good in his study, but he loves to draw đ Since he was young, he really loves to draw. Now he is a successful interior designer and has his own business.
For me, it will be a bonus if my sons can become a top student, but I won’t put it as a must thing to do to my sons. Sometimes without we realize we might compete with the other parent for the sake of ourselves and not for the sake of our children.
Now my sons are still in the Kindergarten and Nursery, and I have to keep in my mind that I should not put too high expectations in their studies when they start primary school and even when they arrived at the university.
Our children might not be good in their studies, but they might be good in another area, such as art, music, etc. They might also not be good in both studies and another area as I mentioned before, but we still have to accept them as they are.
God blessed us with children not for our own interest, but as parents who have been trusted by God to raise our children, we have responsibilities to raise them, help them grow happily and cherish them in hopes they will become someone with good character and behavior.
As long as they study well, try their best, put all their effort, I would be happy for them. The result will then follow the effort đ
Cherish your kids and not to stress them. Do not punish them just because their results do not fit our expectations. We have to find out what happen and encourage them to do better in the future.
I hope the news above can become a good lesson for us as a parent.
I remember that I wrote a post about Result and Effort.
https://mylifeismyrainbow.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/effort-vs-result
I would like to know your opinion regarding this mater. We can then learn from each other and do what is the best for our children đ
My Life is My Rainbow 