Month: August 2011

Little surprises from my little ones

SURPRISE!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

That’s just an example of surprise. Most of the time, the word surprise are used for birthday occasion.

Last year, on the mothers’ day, when JJ was still in the pre-nursery class, JJ gave me a little surprise. Every day, after school, I will always open his school bag to check if there is a note from his teacher. On that day, I took the handmade greeting card (Happy Mothers’ day) from his school bag and when I showed it to him, suddenly he said “Surprise, Mama”.

Though it is only a simple mothers’ day card, but it means a lot for me because it made by him, and it was the first surprise that he gave to me (he was only 2 years and 8 months).

On the next day, when I picked him up from the school bus, JJ gave me a hint once he went down from the school bus, and said “Surprise mama, Surprise!” Than I became so curious and opened his bag, hoping to get something again from him. And, YES, a handmade book mark with Chinese character MAMA WO AI NI (Mama, I love you). Though the Chinese character was not done by him, but I can see that the decoration was done by him.

On the mothers’ day this year, I got a surprise in the morning. I was still on bed and sleeping, suddenly, JJ and TT came to me and waked me up and said ” Happy mothers’ day” and gave me this beautiful card. This card was done by both of them, supervised by my husband. JJ wrote and drew and the colouring was done by TT.

Recently, few days ago, JJ went back from school, but he was picked up by his daddy. Once he reached home, he showed me something. It is a necklace. He was so proud and he said that he made it himself and it is for me. My heart is melted 🙂 I like it, and he cannot stop to tell me how he made it and he wants to make some more.

I used to make some necklaces and gave them all to my relatives and friends. Never thought that someone will give me a necklace. And JJ did it 🙂

Yes, I am so blessed that I have them, I can see that both of them want to make me happy 🙂 Looking forward to another little surprise from them. Their little and simple surprise really make my day bright, make me smile 🙂

How about you? I believe you must have the same experience like mine. Would you like to share with us? 

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Say No to “Instant” mode

Instant Noodle?

If someone offer me Instant Noodle, I won’t say no! 😀 Especially if the offer go to my husband, 100% he will say, “YES, PLEASE!”

When I did a little survey, most of them will love to eat instant noodle, though they know it is not healthy. Why? Because it is very very yummy! very very nice! very fast and very efficient.  But I won’t give it to my sons because I know it won’t be good for them.

It is applied in our parenthood live. Honestly, sometime we want our sons can master things quickly, but without us knowing it, we start to have a high expectation from them.

I talked about Effort vs Result last month (https://mylifeismyrainbow.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/effort-vs-result/), and it was very clear that we should count their effort not the result.

We will only need 5 minutes to cook instant noodle, but we need more than 5 minutes to cook a fried noodle, because of the preparation and the process. The result, the processed one is healthier than the instant one.

It will take sometime for our kids to be good on something. They need time to learn and it is possible for them to fail. They will try again, and might be fail again, because they need learn in slowly and they also need time, and we called it as a process.

There is nothing instant, everything needs process for our kids. Therefore our patience is the most important thing that we need. When we expect something instant from our kids, we are afraid if it will lead a stress to our kids.

Sometime, as a parent, we will compare our kids with others which will encourage us to have a high expectation to our kids which is not correct. Every kids has different capability. Sometime we need to remember this simple phrase “Better slow but sure”. Though it will need more time for our kids to skill on something compare to other kids, but they will skill on it one day. What we need to do is keep encourage them.

The simple example is toilet training. Though they know that they need to pass urine on the toilet bowl, but sometime the accident can be happened. Either they forget or they cannot hold it anymore. When all are smooth already, accident still can be happen.

The other thing that I want to share is the maner. My oldest son start to copy some negative words from his classmates. We always remind him not to say that because it is not a good word. He said yes but he will still do it again. After sometime, he understand that he really cannot say those bad words and now he starts to stop it.

Last saturday, in the bus, there were a couple who really liked our sons, and she told me that my sons are well-mannered. I said thank you to her but inside my heart, I try to recall how were they behaved last time. They were in process so that they can be well-mannered. They are still in process until now. They are learning and we still have to always encourage them, teach them and remind them.

When TT was 20 mos, we can left him alone with his teacher in the sunday school while his friends were accompanied by their parents. It was not happened easily, we have to tell them every sunday before we go to the church and we left him step by step, we started to hide and we left him when it came to the playing time. And finally, we can left him alone. But this last two weeks, he didn’t want to be apart of us and wanted us to stay in the sunday school with him. He is still in the process to be more independent.

There is nothing instant, process is what they need. Give them sometime, be patient and you will see the better result : ) Therefore, say No to the Instant Mode 😀

I hope you will share some of your experiences which is related to this topic to us 🙂

Basic important words for our kids

Once the babies came to the world, they will become part of the society. Though what they know is only crying, drinking milk and sleeping, but they need to adjust with everything around him. Different situation with the time they were in their mom’s womb. They were protected.

As for my kids, we really think that we need to teach them some basic words that they might to know how to use it since they were very young.

1. Bye bye

Bye bye is the first word my children other than the word papa mama. This word is one of important words to be used in the society. we don’t only encourage them to say bye bye to some people that they are know but also for some people that they do not know, such as: Taxi driver, shop sales, etc. It might be a very simple word, and some people might think that this word is nothing, but I believe it means something for some people.

Every Sunday, after Sunday service, we always take MRT, and there is one uncle (the security, I suppose) who always stand there. JJ and TT will always say bye bye to that uncle. That uncle will always look happy and smile because of this simple word plus our kids’ smile:)

2. Hello

This is also a basic and important word that our kids need to learn when to use it. It will not only be used when the kids meet other people but also be used on the phone. As for my kids, most of the time they will say hello to the uncle driver when they took a taxi. They will also say hello to the waiters of a restaurant. But sometime they will say it to the stranger 🙂 Since it is under our control and supervision, we are ok if they want to say hello to the stranger. Sometime they will have a conversation with stranger such as shop attendant, etc.

One day, in the lift there was a man with a very sad face. I can see that he was in trouble. JJ said hello to him, followed by TT. This uncle’s face was change from sad to happy 🙂 It also happened to the bus driver who was very happy when my sons said ‘hello’ to him.

3. Excuse me

This word slightly difficult for TT to pronounce. It was also a bit difficult for JJ to pronounce, but it is easy for him to pronounce now. These words will train them to be a polite children. For example, when they need to cross the path of others.

4. Sorry

This is another important word. They will need to know how to use this word. It is not just say sorry to others. I want them really understand when and why they will need to use this word. Every time JJ and TT made a mistake toward each other and toward me and my husband, they will need to say sorry.

I will ask them what they are sorry for.  JJ will tell me why he say sorry. I want to make sure that he has the reason why he say sorry. When he doesn’t really look to understand the reason, my husband or I will explain to him what mistake he has made and cause them to say sorry. As for TT, since he is only 2 years old now and still not talking fluently and still learning to say sorry, we will ask him to say sorry to his brother, or others, and explain to him the reason why we ask him to say sorry.

5. Please

This word has an important role in my kids lives. We really want them to have a good habit to say this word when they need others’ help.

Every time TT needs his brother help, we will ask him to say please to his brother, so that he will say “Ko (bro), I want ball, please” Yeah we do not want both our sons to be bossy around. So they has to learn to mention this word “please” when they need others’ help to do something for them.

6. Thank you

This is another important word to appreciate others. They have to say thank you, to appreciate whatever other people has done, given and helped for them. Though it is only small things, still we will encourage our kids to say thank you 🙂

JJ’s school bus attendant often gives him either a small gift or cookies and candies. She always give to JJ and TT (Though TT has not joined the school bus yet). Yah, we know that she loves our kids, but we really want our kids to appreciate what she has done for them. I will ask JJ whether he has said thank you to her or not. In a case JJ has not say thank you to her, we will ask JJ to call her and say thank you to her on the same day.

Every time JJ helps TT, we will encourage TT to say thank you to JJ. If he forget, we will remind him. It also apply when they take taxi or somebody give them present or gift. We want our children to learn to appreciate all the effort that has been done by others for them even though it is for small things.

There are still many example that I cannot tell you all through this post. I am very sure you also have the same experience as mine.

By writing this post, doesn’t mean that my sons can do all these six words without any mistakes. We as their parents, still need to always remind them, explain to them and guide them on using these six words.

I believe there are still so many basic words which I miss. Do you mind to add some more basic words that our kids need to be aware since they have become the part of the society? 

Bonds between brothers

Quarrelling?  YES

Make each other cry? YES

Love each other? YES

Sharing? Sometime

Help each other? YES

Most of the time, we are talking about bonds between parents and children, between mothers and their babies

Today I would like to share bonds between brothers. Back to my childhood time, I have a quite strong bonds with my brothers. Up till now, we are still quite close to each other, though three of us leave in three different place, it doesn’t mean that we are loss contact. Well, thank you to the founder of telephone 😀 and now the internet is also so advance, so we can even chat with YM or FB.

But I will not share a lot about my bonds with my brothers. I would like to share the bonds between JJ and TT. They quarrel almost every day, but if we ask them, do you love your brother? YES.

We notice that every time JJ or TT go alone, they will not be as happy as they go along together. One day, JJ was not feeling well, so he had to stay at home with his daddy, and TT still needed to go to the Sunday school with me. TT was very excited that he will go out but when he realized that JJ did not go with him, he kept quite and looked unhappy. When he reached home, he jumped for joy 🙂

It was slightly different with JJ, when he has to go alone without TT, he will still be happy, but he will not stay for long outside and want to go back home and play with his brother. There was a time, when I went out only with JJ, I bought him something, and he told me that he wanted me to buy another one for TT.

Every morning, when TT wakes up, his first question will be “Where is Koko (Brother) JJ?” Then I answer him, JJ goes to school, later we’ll pick him up downstairs, ok.” And he will be very happy when it is the time to pick up his brother. Once he sees his brother’s school bus, he will be very excited.

When we go out together, sometime JJ will hold TT’s hand especially when TT try to run away from us, he will run and stop his brother.

Recently, TT didn’t want to finish his milk. I tried to persuade him to finish his milk, he said NO. My hubby also did the same thing but the result was still FAILED. JJ then tried his luck, and he asked TT, “TT do you want to sleep?” TT answered him,” Yah” JJ said, “Drink your milk first, ok!” TT answered,”OK” and he finished his milk 😀

There are still so many stories that I cannot share them all here 😀 But I really want to hear from you about the bonds between siblings. You might want to share a little bit about your kids’ bond?

Giving is a blessing

Giving your money, giving your time, giving your energy, giving your effort, etc.

I think you can easily guess what I am about to say in this post 🙂

If you stay in Singapore, you will find some people who do voluntary job who will  offer you to do donation. Some of them are students. I always think that their school ask them to do so and not from their own initiative, until I am talking to a young man last weekend.

Last Saturday, while we were waiting for JJ in his Chinese tuition class, we were walking around Orchard road. There was a young lady who stopped us and asked us if we wanted to donate some money for the needy (for children). She was in her school uniform. We thought she did the volunteer under her school. While we waited for the traffic light, a young man who was in his school uniform came to me and offer me if I wanted to donate some money to the same social organisation which the previous girl did the volunteer to. He is a very friendly young man and he asked me if I wanted to cross the street. Then we enter into a conversation. I asked him, if he did the volunteer because the school asked him to do it. He explained to me that he did this voluntary job because he wanted to do it, it is his own initiative. He did not do it because his school asked him to do so. And he showed me his partner who is from another school. They are junior college students. I can see that they are very happy and enjoy their voluntary job.

Honestly, I am so proud of that young man and all his friends. Instead of spend their weekend hang in out with their friends, they prefer to spend their time to do a voluntary job.  I told that young man that I hope when my sons grow up will do something useful for others, just like what he does.

I will never forget to the day when the first time I gave JJ $2,- and I told him that he can used the money to buy what he wanted. It might be candy or cookie. But when he saw a young lady with her school uniform and offer a donation, he decided to put that money in to the donation box and he got a sticker from that young lady. I was quite surprise and I saw he was so happy, I do not know he was so happy because he got a sticker as a return or he was happy because he was giving. Most likely he was happy because he got a sticker. I believe, that one day he will know the meaning of donation or charity.

We encourage our sons to donate to the needy, though it is not a big amount. It is not the amount which is important, but the willingness.

Every time they give money to the needy or donate some money, we guide and explain to them what is donation and who is the needy. They might not really understand what is donation and who is the needy but I believe what we explain to them won’t be a waste.

Now, almost every time when JJ and TT see disable people or students with a donation box, they will ask us coin and put it into the donation box. In some supermarket, they also provide a donation box, and if they see it then they will ask us coins. It might be fun for them but as I said, they will understand the meaning one day later and will become a good habit for them. What we need to do is continue to guide them.

Has anyone had the same experience as what we have?

Or

You might be the one of the volunteers?

It is good to encourage our children to do something positive for others, help the needy since they are young. We live in a society so that it will be better if we open our eyes widely and try to help others as long as it is within our abilities.

When we talk about donation, it does not only mean donate our money, but it can be our time, our effort, our energy, etc.

When we can give our hands to others, it is a blessing for the needy and also a blessing for us .

It’s so big for this little boy

“Wow…” that’s the first word that came out from JJ. Where was he? What made him amaze?

Last Saturday, there were only JJ and I who can went out, TT and my hubby had to stay at home because TT needed to rest. While I was thinking where should I go with JJ, JJ has already have a place in his mind. JJ and TT always love to go to Toys r us and see toys there. But it’s not the place he wanted to go this time, JJ wanted to go to another place. Where was that place?

Library + McDonald.

This time we decided to go to the Central Library. Since both of us were so hungry, we went to McDonald, near by the central library and have a full meal there before we went to the Library. Once we finished our meal, we walked to the Library. JJ was very happy. He said, “I want to read Thomas and friends’ book” Yup, It was the first time he went to the library.

Once we reached there, the first word from JJ was “WOW!!!” Yeah this library is much bigger than his little library at home. And he has already mentioned several time that he wanted to go the library like he saw in the TV. He was so amazed when he saw that the library is so big and has so many books

We went to the children’s section. Ooopss.. there was no Thomas and friends’ book! The librarian told me that most of Thomas and friends’ book are at neighborhood library. And there are some in the central library but unfortunately all those books are out.

Yes, JJ was a little bit disappointed and said “But I want Thomas and friends’ book, Mama”. Then I told him that we still can find some interesting books. There was a little book rack in the middle and we checked on that book rack, and yeah, we found some interesting books, and JJ really like it. He was so happy and took some books to read together with me. Another problem was that all tables and chairs are occupied. But then, I asked him to sit with me on the floor, on the corner. He was a little bit confuse but when he saw some people also did the same thing then he was ok and started to enjoy the books.

He really enjoyed his time and he didn’t want to go home 🙂 We spent around two hours until someone came to me and asked me to asked my son to join coloring section in the other corner. They have this coloring section in order to celebrate the National Day which will come in few days later. JJ liked it and he enjoyed his coloring time until all his hands were colorful as well 🙂

When he finished his colouring, I asked him that it was the time to go home. He was ok and told me that he wanted to come to the library again with his brother along. And I told him that I am more than happy to bring them to the library again.

We have finished our library time and we went to the ice cream stall, we bought two cups of ice cream, sat down there and enjoyed them together. As usual, JJ made a joke and make some people who sat near us so happy and laugh 🙂

We need to buy some groceries before we went back, so I brought JJ to the supermarket nearby. He still enjoyed “the shopping time” (that what he called) until I can saw that he was a little bit tired. Once we finished with our “shopping”, he said, “Ma, we take taxi lah” Of course I was agree with him 😀

We were so happy. It will be happier if we can go together with my hubby and TT. It will be our next plan, go to the library together, four of us 🙂 I believe TT will also like it.

Yup, this library is so big for him, but that’s what makes him enjoy it. Because he loves book.