Effort vs Result

My husband always tell me that the most important is the effort not the result. He applies it not only to my kids but also to me. Honestly, sometime I forget and want the best result in everything. But, again and again, I am reminded by what my husband said.

I have to always remember that I should not require the best result from my sons, but I should see from another point of view, it is their efforts.

I talked to one of my friend, I can say that she is my senior 🙂 She has three children. Her first and second daughter are in High School and last level of Primary School. The youngest one is JJ’s friend. She told me that she never demand the best result from her second daughter though her second daughter is a smart girl. But she will see whether her second daughter study hard or not for her exam. If she saw her daughter has already studied hard and the result was not that good, she will not complain because she appreciated her effort. She knows that he daughter has tried her best regardless of the result. But if she saw her daughter didn’t study well during her exam and the result is not good, she will ask her why she didn’t study well. She told me that she appreciates her children’s efforts, result is the second thing.

As a mom, I am really open and want to learn from other mummies. Sometime I might forget and start to expect the best result from my sons. I learn and I always have to remember that my sons are still very young and they are learning.

Let me share about my own experience…

JJ and TT like to play bowling ball. When the ball didn’t hit the pins, I will ask them to try again and never give up! There was one time that TT hit all the pins (strike) and he was very happy and shouted “Yeee!!! I did it!”. JJ and I were also very happy for him we shouted Yeee.. and I said “Good Job, TT!” and clapped our hands for TT.

Next was JJ’s turn and he hit the pins but didn’t get the strike point. He said, ” Ma, JJ also wants ‘strike’ like TT.” I told him that the most important thing is that you have tried your best and you still can try again. When came to his turn again, he did it strike. JJ was very happy and for sure TT was also happy for his brother and they shouted and jumped together “Yeeee” and clapped their hands. I was also happy and said “See!!! You did it! Good Job, JJ!”

It is applied in other things such as, writing, singing, colouring, etc. Though it is not  a good result but I can see their efforts! They still really deserve to be praised that they have done a Good Job!

Always remember Efforts come first! Good result is a bonus but if it is not a good result, still, encourage them and praise them for their efforts.

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12 comments

  1. This is my mission: to help parents uplift their children with positive parental participation and by encouraging them with praise for good effort toward each goal. You certainly are doing a GOOD JOB! Better than a good job really…you are spending positive time with your children and developing their ability to help themselves and take care of others. Lovely post, Yulia!

    1. Thank you Vivian, I really still need to learn more 🙂 I love to read and learn parenting tips and try to apply it in my motherhood live… I am glad I meet you 🙂

  2. I was always being told as a child that I didn’t try hard enough – probably true at the time. But the result is that whatever I do now, I work as hard as I can to do the best I can. Can’t do more! Praise yes, when earned; encouragement, yes, all the time. A very good post from you.

    1. Thank you viv 🙂
      Yes, sometime as a parent, when we realize that we also not perfect then we should not put a high expectation to our kids. At least they have tried their best and our job is keep encourage them.

  3. Always encourage the effort, even if the result is not what you or your child expected. Too many kids expect praise for their results that they don’t make the effort anymore. I always tell my kids, if you try hard enough, you can do it. It does work!

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