I’ll be here for you

When you are in love, you will be very happy when your boyfriend or girlfriend is sitting by your side, isn’t it right?

Fall in love will be like the whole world only belong to both of you.

Well, it is not only happen between two adults who fall in love, but also between parents and children, especially the mother and the son/daughter. When the first time they come to the world, the baby will be given to the mom. Though the baby still cannot see yet, but he can feel the warm of the mother’s arm.

I still remember when I gave birth to both my sons, JJ and TT, once they born, the Midwife and the Gynae passed the baby to me, and then they cleaned the baby and afterward, my husband had his turn to carry the baby. Most babies will cry when they realize that they are not carried by their parents. They will have strong bond with their parents, especially their mommies.

They  grow up, but the bond will still be there. When they become toddler, they will still want and expect us to be around with them when they are at home. What they know is that the daddy need to go to the office and the mommy will take care of them at home.

What I see, my kids are quite independent, their school’s teachers also told me the same thing. Though they are independent boys, but they still expect me to be around when they go back home after school. Sometime I will go out for a while at night to meet up with my friends, and they are ok because they know that their daddy will be at home with them while I am outside. Sometime I also need to go out buy groceries while the kids are sleeping (napping) and stay at home with the daddy. When JJ wakes up and not see me around, he will be sad and will start to look for me.

One day, I got an offer to work parttime and I took that job. I had to work in the morning while the kids were at school and went back before kids reached home. They took the school bus but I still need to pick them up at the downstair. But the problem was that I still needed to go back to the office in the evening and will only reach home around 10 pm and above.

I can see that kids started to feel inconvenient with this situation. They started complain, TT sometime will cry and did not let me go. They even will not sleep until they see me back home. I was struggled. My boss was very nice to me also, but my kids are also important for me. Until one day, JJ wrote a letter and asked the daddy to pass it to me.

“I don’t want mama to go to work at night, I want mama to be at home”

Well, it moved me, moreover, in the office everything has been settled already and I didn’t really had things to do anymore, so I came with the decision to resign. I still want to try to find a part time job but only in the morning, not morning plus evening anymore. I think that would be great and everybody is happy then.

I thought my boys have this kind of feeling because they are still very young. But I am wrong. Until one day, one of my friend, mommy of three girls, met up with me and told me some of her motherhood experience. Her daughters are grown up already. If I am not wrong they are at secondary school now. She told me that children are very happy when they know that their moms are waiting for them at home. Once, her older daughter called her and asked what did the mom do now. And the mom told her that she was at home that time. And the daughter was very happy and said that she will be back home to meet her mommy.

Yeah, kids need us to be around. And today, after JJ and TT went to school by the school bus, I got ready and also went to school by MRT. I reached the school and peep from the door glass of a class room where kids were there. They saw me! And they were very happy. One of the teacher’s assistant came to me and said that JJ and TT were very happy knowing that I am around.

Yes, they are happy to know that I am around, especially every time after school. They have so many things to tell me about. Every time the school bus reaches home, the kids will give me their best smile and once they get out from the school bus, they will start their ‘story’ about what happen in the school bus and in the school, what song they learn, what did they do together with their teachers and friends while we walk back home.

In the evening, when the daddy go back home from the office, they will also be happy and will start to open the conversation with the daddy.

Yeah, I’ll be here for you my children. I always look forward to listen to their ‘story’ after their daily experiences at school.

What do you think about this topic? You might have different experience from me and my friend (who told me about her daughter). 

I would really appreciate it if you are willing to share yours 🙂 

Advertisements

4 comments

  1. You are spot on Yulia.You have explained from your Mama-heart what psychologists are advocating – be there for your children, truly be with your children, delight in them, and meet their emotional needs.

    The Circle of Security programme explains what you have said here, how children come and go but always need you to be there with safe hands – http://circleofsecurity.net/stipulations/

    Blessings to you.

  2. Call me old-fashioned, but I believe children need a parent at home – mum or dad, it doesn’t matter. My Mum always worked and loved it; we loved the rare days off she had. We would come home from school and the house would be messy and warm and she would be waiting for us. The same if our Dad was home. Happy memories.

    1. Hi Tilly, I agree with you.. I was taken care by my mom when I was young.
      I will try my best to always be there for my kids. Honestly, I can’t really trust other people to take care of my kids. It might because I am the one who take care of them until now.

      Thank you for sharing, Tilly 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s