Most of kids want to become THE WINNER. Of course JJ and TT always want to become the winner.

Last time JJ cannot accept if he lose from his brother. He has learnt a lot since he has his little brother. Now he learns to accept when he lost. And his daddy always remind him with this word “Learn from your failures”.

Now that whenever TT fails on doing something JJ will say “Learn from your failures”. But it is not easy for TT to accept, and he always says that he wants to be the winner. I explained to TT that all of us will not always be the winner. Sometime we can be failed but at least we had tried our best and should never give up when we fail. I told him about how I lost from the singing competition when I was on the Primary school. JJ started to remind TT that when they played basketball, JJ lost and TT won the game, but JJ was ok and accepted it.

I think it will need sometime for TT to accept that all people will not always be the winner. It also happened to JJ last time. But JJ can accept that he will not always be the winner and he should learn from his failures. Never give up.

Especially, we as a parent, we should not push our kids to always become the winner. Just precaution that we might make them stress when they fail or cannot fulfill our wishes and their own wishes. Let our kids know that winning is not everything, but what they can learn from their failures is more important.

LEARN FROM YOUR FAILURES… Now become a popular word among my kids.

But I know that some parents may have different way of thinking… Please do share with us 🙂


  1. hmmm, games where there is a winner and loser…

    i tell my kids not to play them unless they can accept defeat.

    three very competitive boys – it rarely ends well. i don’t understand it at all, how they can’t play just for the fun of it.

    i think they got the competitive gene from my husband’s family, they only play to win…

    eek and ick

    1. yeah, kids tend to want to be a winner in a match. But like it or not they have to learn to accept defeat. Thank you for sharing, Narelle

  2. Oh my goodness, Yulia…what a wonderful post! It is so important for children to learn that they can’t always win, won’t always succeed…and that “losing” or “failure” is a necessary part of life. Of course they all want to be the winner…each wants to succeed at everything they do right away….but if we love them whether they win or lose, succeed or fail…and keep on encouraging them, I think our children will get it eventually. 🙂 I’m sorry to say that when my kids were really young, I thought it might “hurt” their self-esteem if they didn’t win…and when all three played a game together, we would have a first winner, second winner, third winner…but the opposite is true. Children who actually master tasks and skills and learn that it is ok to fail, as long as we continue to try…these are children who learn to value themselves and develop a positive self-image.
    Good for you, Yulia…your sons are lucky to have such a wonderful mom!

    1. Thank you Vivian, honestly, initially, I also think that it might hurt them if they know that they are not the winner… But then my husband told me that it is ok to let them to learn not to be the winner…. And I tried it, now my older son can accept when he was not the winner and he would always said ‘learn from your failures’ when he or his brother lose or fail 🙂
      Thank you for sharing, Vivian

  3. What a very wonderful article. Some parents teach their kids to : ” don’t worry, i’ll buy you that same throphy as many as you want” for calming their kids. Hopefully by this article we are the parents understand how to teach our kids facing their defeat.

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