If someone offer me Instant Noodle, I won’t say no! 😀 Especially if the offer go to my husband, 100% he will say, “YES, PLEASE!”
When I did a little survey, most of them will love to eat instant noodle, though they know it is not healthy. Why? Because it is very very yummy! very very nice! very fast and very efficient. But I won’t give it to my sons because I know it won’t be good for them.
It is applied in our parenthood live. Honestly, sometime we want our sons can master things quickly, but without us knowing it, we start to have a high expectation from them.
I talked about Effort vs Result last month (https://mylifeismyrainbow.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/effort-vs-result/), and it was very clear that we should count their effort not the result.
We will only need 5 minutes to cook instant noodle, but we need more than 5 minutes to cook a fried noodle, because of the preparation and the process. The result, the processed one is healthier than the instant one.
It will take sometime for our kids to be good on something. They need time to learn and it is possible for them to fail. They will try again, and might be fail again, because they need learn in slowly and they also need time, and we called it as a process.
There is nothing instant, everything needs process for our kids. Therefore our patience is the most important thing that we need. When we expect something instant from our kids, we are afraid if it will lead a stress to our kids.
Sometime, as a parent, we will compare our kids with others which will encourage us to have a high expectation to our kids which is not correct. Every kids has different capability. Sometime we need to remember this simple phrase “Better slow but sure”. Though it will need more time for our kids to skill on something compare to other kids, but they will skill on it one day. What we need to do is keep encourage them.
The simple example is toilet training. Though they know that they need to pass urine on the toilet bowl, but sometime the accident can be happened. Either they forget or they cannot hold it anymore. When all are smooth already, accident still can be happen.
The other thing that I want to share is the maner. My oldest son start to copy some negative words from his classmates. We always remind him not to say that because it is not a good word. He said yes but he will still do it again. After sometime, he understand that he really cannot say those bad words and now he starts to stop it.
Last saturday, in the bus, there were a couple who really liked our sons, and she told me that my sons are well-mannered. I said thank you to her but inside my heart, I try to recall how were they behaved last time. They were in process so that they can be well-mannered. They are still in process until now. They are learning and we still have to always encourage them, teach them and remind them.
When TT was 20 mos, we can left him alone with his teacher in the sunday school while his friends were accompanied by their parents. It was not happened easily, we have to tell them every sunday before we go to the church and we left him step by step, we started to hide and we left him when it came to the playing time. And finally, we can left him alone. But this last two weeks, he didn’t want to be apart of us and wanted us to stay in the sunday school with him. He is still in the process to be more independent.
There is nothing instant, process is what they need. Give them sometime, be patient and you will see the better result : ) Therefore, say No to the Instant Mode 😀
I hope you will share some of your experiences which is related to this topic to us 🙂